How ironic...

As I think about this blog that I've started and what I can do with it, I find it very ironic that I have done this. I am a very private person. I don't really want people knowing about my business. I'm not someone who wants to be the center of attention. Don't get me wrong, I like a little attention every now and then, but I'm really one of those people that doesn't like all eyes on me. I get all nervous and hot and sweaty and worry I'll say something wrong or that I have spinach in my teeth.

I started doing Facebook this past summer. Everyone was talking about it and what a great way to connect, reconnect, etc. My 20th {GULP} class reunion was coming up and I hadn't heard anything so I thought I'd try it out. I was amazed at how many people were on there and found it really interesting that I could find out what was going on with everyone. I would go about my day and think "I should post this on Facebook" and then I would never do it. Didn't want people knowing about my business - because I always wondered what everyone else would think about it and if they would think it was dumb or worse, bragging. I don't know why I think like that and let what other people think dictate my actions. I'm a pretty humble person that can laugh {sometimes cry} at my mistakes, but I don't take myself that seriously.

So instead of posting things on Facebook for all of the people I know to read, I decide to post it on my blog for all of the people I don't know to read. Pretty ironic, huh?

Time to decorate?

I've been spending {way too much} time lately surfing, searching and reading so many new blogs. No wonder my house is such a mess and yes, the Christmas decorations are still up. There are so many cool blogs out there and even more talented women than I knew of yesterday. When I first heard about blogs I didn't really understand what the point was. Now I am totally addicted - like can't get anything else done addicted. Like have to check in to all of my new favorites before I can move on with my day addicted. It's really bad.

The one good thing that is coming of my new found love is the inspiration that I am finding from these blogs to finally finish {or should I say start over?} decorating my own home. As I am also still trying to figure out who I am, I'm also trying to figure out what my style is. And I realized something about myself that seems to be a repeating theme that I am now determined to ditch. I used to decorate to please everyone else, making conservative and predictable choices in hopes of looking like I knew what I was doing. Lately I have just been hating my space and everything in it and have stopped putting any effort in to decorating. Maybe it's because I now spend all of my time here so I am noticing things more. Maybe it's because I've been able to truly make my own decisions lately without worrying what everyone else will think. Maybe it's because every January I dread taking down the Christmas decorations and putting all the same old decorations back in their place. Regardless, I'm ready to get started and put more personal choices in to decorating. After all, since I am here more often than anyone else, shouldn't it be a place that I love instead of a place I hope everyone else loves?

I'm actually really excited about this and the possibilities. Hopefully I can find some time to run out this weekend and start exploring at places I've been wanting to go for months now - antique stores, vintage finds, thrift stores. Wish me luck!!

I finally did it!

I did it. I finally did it. I started my own blog. I don't really know why, but I did.

Since I ventured in to the world of digital scrapbooking, I have found so many blogs that I just love to look at. There are so many talented women out there. I guess maybe my creative inner being is screaming to be let out.

After working (and living) so many years in a very structured world - working 60+ hour weeks, running to keep up with schedules, and doing everything possible to make everyone else happy except myself - I somehow lost sight of who I am. Who am I? I don't even know anymore. I don't think I ever took the time to figure out who I was as an individual. I have always thought of myself in relation to who I was to other people. But not who I was to myself. I am a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, co-worker, etc. But those are relationships. Who am I as a person? What are my beliefs and what do I stand for? What are my favorites and what do I despise? What are my talents? What are my goals? What are my dreams? Those are the questions I would like to answer as I start 2010 on a journey to rediscover, scratch that, DISCOVER who I am.

I have many different thoughts for this blog - maybe it will just be a place to keep all of my thoughts to get them out of my head. After all it is getting a little crowded in there - might explain the abundance of headaches I seem to have these days. Maybe it will be where I discover who I am. Maybe it will be where I discover what God intended for me. As for now, it's back to being a mother as it's time to venture out in the cold wind and snow to get my Kindergartner off the bus.